I fairly leapt at the back door and closed it as quickly as I could without slamming it, then collapsed on the grass as though I’d just won Wimbledon. It seemed like ages before my breath returned to somewhat normal, and then I slipped inside, found Pha cowering under the swivel chair as though I was going to beat her, and picked her up and hugged and kissed her while I said a thank-you prayer to the Great Cat in the Sky. It was 10 minutes to 11.
After she discovered that I wasn’t going to beat her, she calmed right down and was the old Pha within minutes. She slept almost the entire next day, but you know the first thing she did when I finally got her home? She went right to her little treat bowl and looked at me expectantly, as though she’d been the best cat in the world all night long. I couldn’t help laughing and immediately gave in.
Afterward:
I’ve had some time to think about this adventure now, even as a slightly subdued Frankencat resumes her duties outside. I’ve decided I made several errors that contributed to her behavior last night. I’ll share them with you:
1. Always wait at least a week after a cat has been in the kennel to put her back into a car.
2. Never assume they know where they are the first few minutes in a new environment, and stay close by until they settle in. THEN and only then should you try tending to chores, even quick ones.
3. Realize how fast even an older cat can move if they are someplace they’re not sure they want to be.
4. Remember that they can make their bodies incredibly slim and can slip through cracks you wouldn’t have thought possible.
5. Never use a rake to try to corral a cat, obviously.
6. Suck up to local law enforcement no matter how humiliating.
7. Don’t run after a cat in the woods wearing only flip-flops and shorts. (Yeah, I itch, dammit).
8. Try to plan bonding visits well before dusk, when the wolf man howls.
9. Realize that cats naturally feel a call to be where other critters are, especially if they previously unexplored.
10. Finally, accept that you may be in for a long haul, but that eventually, if you make the path back home clear to them, they will most likely return on their own. In the meantime, stay inside with the door open and try to enjoy yourself for awhile. Accept the sometimes excruciatingly hard truth that if it’s their day to go, it’s their day to go.
Woodpecker
Woodpecker Writes 